. . . . . Q U I X O T I C

Thursday September 9th, 1999

it's been a difficult return from the desert, and even though now I
have been home longer than I was gone, I still long for the quiet
dryness and that loud mix of light, color, and sound. I've given
over my days to the dreamscape of memory and now as the vestiges of
playa dust still swirl around my head, my space and throughout my
mind, I slowly come back to the world of home. don't get me wrong,
home is a world that I like and trust, and within it contains many
riches (the abstrakt zone being one.) but some how the volume of life
is a bit lower, there are bills to pay, jobs to finish, and
relationships that suffer their own particular mortality. I am
thankful for the brief moments where
the desert seems to remain in
full technicolor richness
, either in memory or in flesh. so it is
here in the neither world between desert and home that the last
abstrakt zone exists.
quixotic describes a romantic journey that has
dubious intentions.
(I think this actually describes my whole state
of being...) and perhaps any resting place on this journey both
imbibes this magic but also alters it for the next leg.

the abstrakt zone is such a resting place, a destination and a
return, and perhaps simply a depot.
many thanks to the spirits that
welcomed us back from the the desert and wished us a bon voyage for
more travels. to dwight, thurston, ray and lee, who collectively
call themselves tone pharaoh, to nick, otherwise known as
organalogic, for traveling on his own journey from new york , to jane
for the lovely Q's of all shapes and forms that floated upon the
space, to eva for experimental dance like things and to julia ann for
the burning man pics, those images that simultaneously seemed so
close and so far away. all the music was a live groovy mix of
electronic ambient danceable textures that would have been right at
home, in our home, the spiral oasis.

so the question becomes, how much of the desert do we hold onto? do
we try to eradicate it's charms for our lives so we can be truly
'functional' or do we try to keep it preciously locked up in a box,
available when ever we need a fix. I say neither. let it flow, let
her charms entice and overwhelm us, often.
let us be derailed by her
sensual beauty.
it's so easy to be caught up in the what is 'normal'
and 'right.' I say let it go. I read lots of email in the last two
weeks about the lingerings of the desert, how we all wish to hold on
to it's vibe.

now here's a secret: the best of what makes the desert work is that
we have to step outside of ourselves to survive. we give to receive,
but it is not an one to one equation that is born of capitalism (not
that I have any problem with that...) it is that there seems to be an
emotional and spiritual barter that occurs when you give something
unconditionally, your time, your possessions, to others. it is not
about 'I want, and I'll trade you this...' it is more like, 'do you
want to share...'
it is that sharing vibe that gets perpetuated in
the zone. so next time --October 21--
come and share something

R is for redux,
because if it is good enough to do once, then why not again?


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